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Of Indian Men and Kolam

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  I said that putting rice flour kolam every morning is just extra work for Indian women—if the purpose of kolam is just feeding the birds, then we can just scatter raw rice for them. We can keep kolam as a cultural art rather than a cultural imposition for Indian women—one they must do daily as though they don’t have enough work. Then came the comment about me being Malaysian and how no one is forcing Indian women to put kolam daily, unlike my dad who is a “lusu ku,” forcing me to put kolam daily. Apparently, Malaysian Indians are the people who force women to put kolam daily unlike Indians. So, I should take my advice to the kuthiyans in Malaysia, it seems.  The frequency of kolam in some Malaysian Indian households is every Saturday. That too, only if someone in the house is interested in the artform. Men do it too and we use chalk. The kolam lasts a whole week and is put within the house's wall compound. For the birds, we still scatter raw rice.    Rare pic of a ...
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The Troubles Mature Bodied Teenage Girls Face

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Everything female, every act of a female, every female relation has been sexualized. But there's one sexualization that doesn't get enough spotlight; the growing bodies of pubescent and teenage girls. Andha vedhana irke, andha vedhana! (The torture... that torture!) Oh, the shame and confusion, unspeakable. The damage, irreversible! I've experienced it first-hand.  That was me during menarche when I was 11 years old. As you can see, my body was mature for my age - because of that, I was mercilessly sexualized ever since I started growing breasts. A molester squeezed my sprouting breasts when I was 10. I had gone into the school toilet alone to change into sports attire. A heavily bearded stranger who hung about tailed me into the bathroom... that's another story for another day. It didn't help that I was a leggy lass. My mom and me - I was 11. Everywhere I went - to school, to the library, even at home, I was troubled by men and boys alike. Truly, I don't know h...
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I Didn't Enjoy Dragon: Here's Why

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It'd be weird to hear that I watched Dragon in tears. But that's the truth.  Let's explore the injustices and hypocrisies that I couldn't stand in this movie, one that everyone is praising. My mom was like, "Adhepdi ivanuku poiyi ivlo azhagana ponnunga kidaikuthu?" (How come a lowlife like him gets the "most beautiful" ladies? The only constant in Dragon's life is "pretty girls." I am following conventional beauty standards and age old Tamil cinema pairing of men who are "not good-looking" with "good-looking" women. He got and wanted only the "hottest" women when he was studious, useless brat, successful cheater, and a human with bare minimum qualities.  What's so great about realizing one's mistakes, coming clean, and not ruining another person's life? It's the bare minimum! Basic quality! Why do we keep glorifying men who only pass the bare minimum? Women have to turn men around for the be...
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Living Out of the Box as a Woman of Indian Origin

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Personally, I've deviated far from the socially accepted life for an Indian woman. Here's my story. I hope it will inspire that life isn't a set template, it's all about breaking barriers. I Fell Gravely Ill when I was Writing My Pre-University Exams and Couldn’t Go to University.     The onset of my rare genetic disease happened during my pre-university days - I was 19 years old.  At that time, no one could determine what was wrong with me. I was admitted to the hospital and wrote  my exams there. I was in a lot of pain. My hands shook and I had difficulty writing but I pushed through anyway, in tears. I got sicker because of misdiagnosis.   Since my disease is rare, doctors misdiagnosed it many times. So, I got worse and worse – critical time was wasted. After correct diagnosis, I had severe allergy reactions to the medicine. Throughout the ordeal, I had to make great effort even to swallow. My tremors were so violent, it shook the wheelchair when I sat in it....
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