Kannammaa Writes

Personally, I've deviated far from the socially accepted life for an Indian woman. Here's my story. I hope it will inspire that life isn't a set template, it's all about breaking barriers. I Fell Gravely Ill when I was Writing My Pre-University Exams and Couldn’t Go to University.     The onset of my rare genetic disease happened during my pre-university days - I was 19 years old.  At that time, no one could determine what was wrong with me. I was admitted to the hospital and wrote  my exams there. I was in a lot of pain. My hands shook and I had difficulty writing but I pushed through anyway, in tears. I got sicker because of misdiagnosis.   Since my disease is rare, doctors misdiagnosed it many times. So, I got worse and worse – critical time was wasted. After correct diagnosis, I had severe allergy reactions to the medicine. Throughout the ordeal, I had to make great effort even to swallow. My tremors were so violent, it shook the wheelchair when I sat in it....

Call me ableist and insensitive - but I will say what I have to say about the sexism affecting only Indian disabled women. I had a disabled female relative and a disabled female doctor (both with Indian roots and affected by childhood polio). They were used liberally as inspiration porn as they were successful in a world built for able bodied people. However, marriage and romantic relationships eluded them - the words from my female relative rings sonorously in my conscience: "They think disabled people should be grateful they’re allowed to exist – romantic relationships, intimacy, marriage are excess. To some extent, disabled men have more chances to find a life partner than disabled women in our patriarchal society. Patriarchy renders women like me unmarriageable.  In the past, during the penn paarkum vaibavam (bride seeing ceremony), right... They will ask the bride they came to see to walk, sing, ask her questions, and make her serve coffee and tidbits. This was to check if th...

  The story of Sujatha Nagaraj from Malaysia I had an arranged marriage and I am blessed with 2 children. My problem is, my mother-in-law doesn't like me visiting my parents during weekends. However, she keeps calling her daughters to come over. And when they are here, she treats them like princesses - I am the one who must serve them hand and foot. My co-sisters won't even enter the kitchen.  I am a daughter of another set of parents - won't they like to have me over like how my mother-in-law likes having her daughters over? Like how her daughters love her and want to see her, don't I love my parents and want to see them?  The thing is, my mother-in-law wants me to serve her daughters - they come over during weekends just as I leave to my parents' - they live two blocks away. Her problem is, when I leave, her daughters will have to cook and serve themselves. She can't take that coz "They cook and clean for their husbands and in-laws all week. When they are...

  I live with my mother-in-law, husband, and my 10 years old son. 4 of my co-sisters (my husband is the only son) often come and go or stay over for days but they only eat and sleep – they don’t do a single work at home. I work 6 days a week and I am the one who gets up at 4 am, cooks breakfast, lunch, and dinner, goes to work, returns from work, checks my son’s homework, and does all the housework up to 11 pm. This has been my routine for the past 7 years – ever since we moved to a new big house and my husband’s stepmom (whom I adore) moved out with her daughter into their own home. I slave away in the kitchen while my co-sisters watch Astro in the living room – it’s been 7 years since I sat on my couch in my house and watch my subscription TV for which I pay. I spend Sundays (my only leave) cleaning my double-storey bungalow. I got fed up a few months back and told my youngest co-sister who is a teacher trainee that this is our home, not a hotel. I requested her to do some housew...

I think Indian men are the worst when it comes to intimacy. I have been reading numerous confessions where married Indian women felt that sex feels like rape every night for them. No care. No love. No affection. Robotic and rigid. These types of Indian men watch porn and are only keen on penetrative sex. Cuddling with their wives is something emasculating for them. Coz men are not supposed to be gentle and tender! That is what this patriarchal system teaches men. Women, on the other hand, yearn for love and care before both leads to sex. Indian men translate this as ‘women being needy, clingy, and slutty.’ Coz we have taught men that women who know about sex and what they want in sex are bad women. Hear out your wives and respond positively, dear Indian men If you watched The Great Indian Kitchen and Vallamai Tharayo, you’d know. When women say that they’d like some foreplay, sexy talks, teasing, flirting, and calling each other endearing names to their husbands, the latter is ...