Decoding Sethu (Vivek) of Alaipayuthey

 

Vivek's Sethu character in Alaipayuthey showcases the basic qualities men should have. I think his role is underrated. As it is the current trend for us to dig up old favorites and dissect them, I am doing the same, ft Alaipayuthey Sethu. 

Sethu likes Shakti, but once he knows that the feelings aren’t mutual, he doesn’t pester her or behaves like he has the right to marry her. Usually, murai paiyan tends to disturb and harass their murai ponnu and it’s shown in many movies, from Kizhakku Cheemayile to Kanden Kadhalai. Sethu doesn't do that.

I feel bad when Shakti mocks Sethu by mimicking his stammer. And I rather Sethu defend himself. But he takes it very lightly. Maybe he thought that Shakti deserves someone better than him. Maybe because he loves her. Whatever it is, I have mixed feelings about this because self-respect (not ego) is important for everyone, even in front of people you love.

Sethu actually stops his mom from talking about him marrying Shakti and never brings it up. Counting her well-being, and perhaps understanding that he is “below her standards” and that the only “criteria” he has to marry her is being her cousin, he happily clears the way when Shakti gets an unexpected marriage proposal from America return Shyam. He even says that he can only buy America map for Shakti, but Shyam will take her to America. He even depreciates himself and his mom by saying, “When good things happen, unhelpful people should step away.”

When his mother is hospitalized, Sethu takes care of her. This is something rare in Indian society. Hence, it's revolutionary in its own right. I don't know how many of you can see it the way I do, but men who nurture are the good ones - they're gentle, secure, loving, and great to be with. Sethu FTW.

I saw a Neeya Naana episode where the men say that if a girl rejects them, they'll spoil her married life, beat up the guy, and kill the girl if her reason of rejection isn't genuine, and valid. These guys should learn from Sethu. I am not saying that guys should take every shit from women out of love and concern. Just handle rejection with humanity, which is masculinity. 

But then, many men self-proclaim that they personify Sethu. Being loyal to her it seems. Then, they denounce women for not choosing them because they're Sethu's incarnates. 

Sethu's character is basic and he is definitely better than Karthik's character:

 

1. He doesn't disturb a girl who isn't interested in him.

2. He informs Karthik about the missing Shakti's whereabouts.

3. He takes care of his sick mother.

4. He left a girl who wasn't into him alone.

This is not sacrifice or loyalty. Sethu didn't like a so-called average looking girl who works as a housemaid or a disabled girl and tolerated her making fun of him. He liked so-called good looking Shakti who is a med student. Shakti went for so-called good looking, brisk, and charming Karthik. And Shakti's family liked Shyam because he is equal to Shakti. Sacrifice and loyalty? Where? 

And there is no gender bar in going for attractive, and eye-catching, dreamy people in youth's idealism. It takes time to understand that physical attraction isn't important, character is. What better example than us now, understanding cinematic characters we didn't think much of in our late adolescence and early 20s, as major green flags.