After Illness-Related Disability, I Ran to Find a Job, Not a Husband
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💔 The Man Who Pursued Me… Left
As I fought for my life in the hospital after diagnosis, the man who wanted to marry me — he brought a proposal through his family — absconded.
He was my cousin's wife's brother. Everyone thought that he'd be a good husband for me. Except for the fact that marriage was the last thing on my mind — as a 19 year-old, I was worrying about my A-levels exam results and whether I'd bounce back in time to attend university and pay off the mortgage on the house my mom bought.
👁️ When Reality Hits, You See What’s Best for You
I went from a so-called “attractive girl” to a girl on wheels everyone pitied — because “no man would marry me.” I was barfing in the hospital due to an allergy to medicine, and I could hear whispers from visiting relatives about how I can’t be married off.
Even in that sickly condition, my mind was buzzing with one thought:
A husband isn’t the answer for me.
🚀 Take Action — Build Your Skills
I regained some of my health and bodily functions. I passed the A-levels exam I wrote with great difficulty at the hospital; my hands wouldn't stop shaking. My disability and lack of resources prevented me from attending university — however, I wasn't idle:
- I wrote letters to my pen pal in New Zealand. ✉️
- I journaled actively — by hand. ✍️
- I read dictionaries and enriched my vocabulary. 📚
Then my brother got me a laptop, and I began freelancing online, earning in USD.
But employment opportunities for people like me were limited. Disenchanted with the Malaysian government's “bread and circus” Roman culture and in dire need of work, I wrote to local media:
"I am single, disabled and I don't want handouts."
- The article went viral. Some called me arrogant.
- For me, it was dignity.
- People like me don’t need occasional crumbs — we need opportunity.
🌟 A Great Company With a Bigger Purpose Hired Me
The article I wrote reached the right people. My current boss was impressed by my writing style and hired me immediately — after visiting me and bringing mee rebus.
I've never looked back since.
Working at a company such as Genashtim always reminds me of the importance of inclusion and diversity.I am blessed with so much goodness — and I do try to pay it forward... like telling my story and teaching feminism.
Kindness never made anyone poor.
🎯 Blaming the Man Who Left Isn’t Beneficial
Years later, I attended my cousin's son's birthday party. I’m the wallflower at any event, encumbered in my bulky wheelchair... then, I spotted the man I would’ve married if disability hadn’t interrupted my party.
Our eyes met… and for the rest of the evening, he dodged me.
And honestly?
I was glad I dodged a bullet.
Men are seven times more likely to leave their sick wives.
Imagine my plight if I got sick after marrying him.
That was a close shave.
I’m not bitter about him leaving — like how some men behave when women leave them.
In all my years of running Karuththu Kannammaa, I have never once dissed that guy.
🌱 What He Taught Me Was Valuable
I’m actually glad he taught me what I should rely on:
A job. Not a husband.
We hardly talked anyway. Although he had my number from our meeting at my cousin’s engagement and wedding shopping, he didn’t call.
I was busy being the English Club President, librarian, and studying massive syllabi — Economics, World and Islamic History, Business Studies, and General Studies.
And of course, I was dealing with my emergent symptoms - I wrote the final exams in the hospital and I was aware enough to tell the doc to start an IV on my right hand coz I'm a Southpaw.
💡 What I Hope My Story Teaches Women
✨ A man earning 2-3 lakhs isn’t the answer — your financial independence is essential.
✨ Only your financial independence will help you in any situation — not a husband.
✨ Seize every opportunity that comes your way.
✨ Gain a skill and never stop advancing it — I’m a content writer and I still take content writing courses to polish my skill.
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