The Girlfriend: Reclaim Your Power, Girls

 

One line review of The Girlfriend: If shame is different for men and women - IT'S TIME TO EQUALIZE.

First of all, I'd like to commend Rahul Ravindran: a man who made a movie from women's perspective. I think Chinmayi and her experience made an impact on him and that birthed this movie. If Chinmayi introduced Bell Hooks in an interview, Rahul introduced Virginia Woolf - both are feminist writers. 

1. It's nice to see Rashmika Mandanna actually given the scope to perform after all the flower pot roles she essayed.

What I liked most is the character progression of Bhooma Devi: though it made me impatient and I wanted to shake Bhoo into reality about Vikram, I understood that change isn't immediate. And the breaking point of being betrayed by two men she trusted... felt real - every woman would've felt that in life.

2. Protector and lover only until it serves them.

This is something women have long known. Vikram says that it's not the way to behave at women (referring to the policeman berating Bhoo and Harshu) and that the women at his college are his responsibility. That same mouth and body worked overtime to torture Bhoo after she left him, reflecting the reality of the dubious role of "protector" so boasted about.

3. Independent, strong girls are undesirable.

I wondered what Durga sees in Vikram and I soon understood why she was put there. It's to highlight how women are selected: motherly, traditional, willing to do free labor, and submissive vs. strong-willed, modern, independent, assertive, bold, and resilient. I love how Dee realizes that Vikram is bad news later and tries to warn Bhoo about Vikram's true colors, being honest about her initial feelings about Vikram and being a true friend to Bhoo till the end.

4. A kiss manipulated as love - consent and mutuality disregarded.

Vikram traps Bhoo after the kiss - he blabbered about it to the whole college, establishing that Bhoo is his girlfriend, essentially trapping her in a relationship. Any relationship forced after physical intimacy and not emotional understanding - with the male controlling the female is bound to fail.

5. Bhoo is never relaxed with Vikram - stress due to violation of physical boundaries and digesting his patriarchal mindset are the constant.

Vikram sees himself as a nice guy because he's not as bad as his father. After his father died, Vikram simply replaced him. He kept his mother traumatized and subjugated - and even praises her for it. And Bhoo is right to feel that she'll end up like his mother if she stays with him. He tells her what to do, how many children he wants like he tells his mother that Bhoo is his daughter-in-law. His word is final.

6. Bhoo is an adult: her romantic relationship is none of the college's business.

I think this is the first time Indian parental and collegiate authority is challenged. As the college's professor and HOD, Rahul asserts that college students are adults and have their personal lives which he cannot intervene when Bhoo's father insists he get his daughter's TC.

7. The usual misogyny after a girl breaks up: but with an in-depth revelation from the girl's side.

"Girls use men as ATM machines and time pass. They'll love us then marry NRIs." What isn't a topic is how Vikram shortchanges Bhoo's educational and career aspirations - only after that does she bring up his backlogs and asks how he's gonna take care of her like he said he will. He didn't discuss the next course of action with her - he arranged the marriage and expected Bhoo to comply because "he knows what's best for her and them." He tries to dim her light from the start, the theater, her studies, her friendship with Vinay - but he gets to be friends with Dee.

8. "You don't need that girl. You need a girl like her - a girl you can control."

"And you don't need us. You need friends who see you as a hero and sing your praises." This man right here stands as a conscience for those who refuse to let go of their male ego and main character energy. And when Bhoo screws up Vikram on stage and almost beats Vikram to pulp - two people were genuinely happy for her - this friend of Vikram's and Dee.

9. Innocence. Submission. Placidness. Fear. Silence. Naivety. Obedience. None of these help women.

Notice how Bhoo carried the confidence she got when she reclaimed the power from Vikram to the rest of her life. Her faith that she'll get a good man and it's okay is she doesn't get married - but she'll live happily before Vikram's eyes is the outlook every girl needs. The dupatta she never fails to take when going out of her room symbolizes her repression. When she abandons her dupatta, she abandons her repression - she is reborn - strong-willed, modern, independent, assertive, bold, and resilient. 

10. Not cheating and not hitting your partner doesn't make you a good man: please stop advertising basic decency as the hallmark of sainthood.

If a woman not cheating and hitting her partner wouldn't be considered as her good qualities, the same standards apply to men. Toxicity is often masked as love and care - and Vikram falls under this category. Yes, men have problems and the cause is patriarchy, not women's independence. Being patriarchal and disdaining women's independence and then crying foul that women are evil and no longer like their moms and grandmas don't cut it - wake up and learn how to live with independent women.