Karma is not a bitch – karma is bullshit.

Disclaimer: 

I am only expressing my thoughts on this blog. I am neither imposing anyone to follow my atheism nor ordering anyone to stop believing in whatever they want to believe. You don't have any fucking right to invalidate my thoughts and impose your religiosity on me in the name of commenting. There are thousands of religious faith belief based blogs - go and croak there.

When faced with the unknown and hence petrifying situations, it is humans’ nature to reason them with their own understanding. That is how religions, rituals, superstition, metaphysics all came to manifest among us. That is how reincarnation and karma concept came about as well.

It’s perfectly fine to cling to such concepts when we don’t know better. But to continue to reason in such ways when science offers answers and solutions is not wise.

I have a rare genetic disease known as Wilson’s Disease (WD). It’s a copper metabolism disease where I suffer from trace mineral copper toxicity. I can’t flush out the excess copper I obtain from food normally – drugs (not crack, legal narcotics😝) do it for me. Since I was diagnosed late, at 19 years old, I am robbed of some of my physical abilities 👀. A girl who was fiercely independent was reduced to rely on others to do basic things. While that was painful, it is even more painful when I am blamed for my plight by religious people, both strangers and known, citing karma.

After my diagnosis, I was taking time to heal and a family friend came to visit. In the prayers room, (I was a Hindu) I was interrogated about what sins did I do to have this condition. And then I was told to think hard about my past lives. I was in pain and nauseous due to medication. I was also angry to be treated like that when all I did was go to school, study, and worry about my exams and the syllabus. However hard I tried, I couldn’t recall my past life. Simply because there is no such thing.

My late dad’s contumelious and elitist ways were then blamed for my condition – my mom does this to this day. Sometimes, she blames my past karma and her past karma. I am like, “Make up your mind.😤” 

Doctors said that endogamy played a role in my genetic disease – my dad is my mom’s maternal uncle. They also had me late. Hence both factors play a part in me having this disease – limited gene-pool for natural selection💖. While I am excited about the gene-editing tech CRISPR, Deep BrainStimulation (DBS) and stem cells tech, one of my uncles (I use his late daughter’s phone number and he pays the bill coz he thinks of me as his daughter now) talks about how what you do, the universe throws it back at you like a boomerang👻👺. How supercilious to think that the vast universe cares about evolved monkeys living on an insignificant planet. Human hubris is more toxic than my disease and is evident in the concept of karma.

When you reason with karma, you tend to not improve yourself. You tend to think that whatever happens is due to karma and there is nothing you can do about it. Subconsciously, all of us are anti-karma. Whoever strives to be better is anti-karma. Whoever works to change the world is anti-karma. The medicine field, innovation, evolution are all anti-karma. Whoever plans for the future is anti-karma. If you wear masks, wash your hands, and practice social distancing, you’re anti-karma coz karma is anti-life coz life finds a way. That’s why dinosaurs are birds now.

I was in the prime of my life when this disease affected me. I won’t lie that I was as outspoken, confident. and as bright as I am now. I had the lowest moments of my life. But I received help and support and I tried to make the best of a bad job. My brother got me a laptop and I started writing. I got a freelancer job. I wrote why I don’t want charity from the government but employment opportunities, a corrupt-free government that doesn’t appease the people with handouts and better public facilities for the disabled to a local newspaper. And, I got a job. My boss came to visit me at my home and now I am a part of a for-profit social enterprise and its work-from-home model which is absolutely brilliant.

Karma would have prevented me from helping others in ways I can. I do online activism. I chose intersectional feminism because this movement resonates with my life in a wholesome way. While I am a Malaysian, my Facebook page, Karutthu Kannammaa managed by co-admins and I have a 90% Indian following. My Instagram profile, Hemzie Kannammaa has over 2000 followers. (Request in cycle gap: Do like my FB page and follow me on IG, thanks!) If I believed that people deserve abuse, injustice, and inequalities due to their karma, I wouldn't go out of my way to help people via my activism.

If I had resigned to karma, I would not be where I am right now. While I feel that I am being vainglorious, who else will tell my story? So, here I am writing about the lessons in my life. While my medical condition is a bane, it is also my greatest teacher.

And, yes, Karma is Bullshit and I am the Bitch who overcame it.