The Vicious Cycle of Indian Mommy's Boys

The epidemic of Indian men prioritizing their parents (especially their mommies) and treating their wives as second class citizens is a cycle that needs stopping.

This is prevalent in Indian societies across the world. Indian men continue being "Mommy's Boy" after marriage. And Indian men's mommies continue to baby their married sons, reducing their wives into maids at the behest of the matriarchs aka slave driver.

Although this is a first world problem, the core is the husband giving more importance to his parents and family than his wife. This is common in all families in Indian society. This woman is privileged so she filed for a divorce. But millions of Indian women live in this situation which society deems "normal" and "right.

Wives who's needs aren't met by their husbands become obsessed with their sons and raise them as "mommy's little princes," who only listen and fulfill their moms' wishes. Those moms who are deprived of love, attention, importance, and affection from their husbands try to gain all of it through sons which again leads to sons neglecting their wives who in turn get obsessed with sons. It's a vicious cycle.

It stems from husbands not giving due attention, respect, and importance to their wives. And moms are shit scared that their daughters-in-law would "steal their sons" by changing their minds. They fear their sons not giving them the utmost importance now there's another woman. One should understand that moms cling on their married sons because their husbands clung to their mothers, keeping their wives at arm's length. Without the son, the mom feels utterly abandoned. Hence, the mom takes every step to assert her superiority at the daughter-in-law, repeat that she is an "outsider who came yesterday," and bank on mother sentiment and emotional blackmail to keep her son under her feet.

The byproduct of men giving more importance to their mommies is "Mommy's Armpit Princes." If he wants thosai when the working wife already steamed idli, the monster-in-law will demand she do what he wants. This way, the bond between mom and her manbaby strengthens, creating a deeper wedge between man and wife.

 These men rely on their mommies to live on in their comfort zone, get waited hand and foot, his every whim and fancy, fulfilled. How are Indian women raised anyway? "Adjust and compromise with your husband and mother-in-law. Only then you preserve our honor as your parents." 

The neglected wife waits until her son grows up and gets married. She then lets out all her bottled up frustrations by keeping her son enslaved to her and asserting herself as the dominating matriarch whose needs and wishes come before her son's wife's needs and wishes.

No woman actually adjusts and compromises - she tolerates the injustices meted on her by her mommy boy husband and his mommy. All the while, she trains son to be a manbaby and a hypnotized idiot whose brain synapses are controlled by her, making him her pawn. The matriarch will do everything to establish her status that she's the most important person in her son's life. If the wife wants to go on a honeymoon in Goa, the mother-in-law would butt in and express her wish to go to Ayodhya as a family trip. Of course, the Mommy's Boy fulfills his mother's wish.  

The mother now ignores the husband who ignored her needs and never lets her son and daughter-in-law have a loving, happy marriage. When the daughter-in-law becomes the matriarch, the cycle repeats. She will be like, "No one knows my son better than I do," and interfere in every matter, and doesn't care about her husband.

Little princesses eventually adult up and learn how to cook and other life skills. Mommy's Armpit Princes on the other hand remain under their mothers' spell, never adulting.

Now some Indian men enslaved to their moms will say that wife is replaceable. Mom isn't. That's why mothers are first priority. Ok - you're replaceable as husbands and we'll prioritize our parents over you. How does that sound?

People get married to live a close-knit, harmonious lives as a couple. If women prioritizing their families over their marriage sounds unacceptable, so is men prioritizing their family over their marriage.

Keeping wife first isn't neglecting your family. Your wife has a family too. But as soon as she's married to you, she leaves her family and you become her world. It's only fair if she becomes your world too. Take care of both sides of the family. Prioritizing your spouse doesn't mean abandoning your birth family.

The solution for this is independence and security. Secure and independent women birth secure and independent men.

If you check the mothers who raised their sons as mommy's princes, they often don't possess financial security and independence. They are unable to take care of their own needs. They are in the patriarchal trap of - dependent, on father as a girl - dependent, on husband as a woman - dependent, on son as an old lady. That assertive and dominant matriarch status is also a sign of helplessness. That's why women empowerment is men empowerment. An enslaved woman cannot raise an independent man.

Indian mothers say shit like: "If my son leaves me and goes to live independently with his wife, it would feel like my life is stripped off my body." Ironically, they're able to send daughters out after marriage after a two minute emo drama.

An important part of adulting is building a life with the person you married INDEPENDENTLY. If you have Dhanush's mindset in Thanga Magan movie, it means you're a mommy's armpit prince, not an adult, hence not fit for marriage. Yes. Mommy's Boys are unfit for marriage and I encourage ladies to keep tabs on such men just like men keep tabs on daddy's little princesses who adult up eventually unlike these mommy's armpit princes.