Please forgive me for the late review of this movie. Many things happened in between, and I couldn't gather my thoughts to sit and write. A lot has been said about Lover - the internet is divided between Arun (Manikandan) and Divya (Sri Gouri Priya). I am too. But let's go about it, nonetheless.
When talking about equality, men often say, "Men marry unemployed women. But women won't marry unemployed men." There's a reason women won't marry an unemployed man and it's not about the money. Divya and Arun have been in a relationship for 6 years. And a considerable amount of Arun's toxicity stems from his unemployment and insecurity about Divya earning.
Yeah, that's why I'd reject an unemployed man - his insecurity would suck the life out of me and I'd end up not progressing in my career and losing my mental peace. I can absolutely take care of my husband's needs and I would respect him, his space, and fiercely defend him from shamers - however, how he'd take it embodies Arun's behavior.
Arun has no sense of office culture. If you're working in an office, then you can't avoid mingling with your colleagues of the opposite sex inside and outside of the office. There'd be office outings and events - the workplace is a social space. Even remote workers have things like meet-ups and virtual coffee talks. About Divya's colleague who keeps warning her about Arun and is getting hate from men - she did the right thing - however, the decision is Divya's and she's capable enough to decide for herself.
Yes, Divya lies to Arun. Yes, she could listen to Arun and not join the office outings - but it's not a relationship if one is to only follow the other's whims and prejudices. And where is the trust? There are no communication and boundaries either - Arun and Divya never sit down and have a heart to heart. They block each other after a fight - at least text it out. Any relationship without communication is bound to head south.
Divya and Arun are not made for each other from the start. Divya is a liberated, modern woman. Arun, is just typical. He'd have premarital sex but thinks like a traditionalist - that men give women freedom. Divya's male friend, who says to Arun that he's no one to give his girlfriend freedom were furiously trolled by men. The same men cry about their girlfriends not allowing them to meet their friends/boozing and hate that their freedom is curtailed. Suddenly, they sure understand that women don't give men freedom.
When Arun doesn't have his way with Divya, he threatens to commit suicide. I only have one thing to say, "This is so high-school behavior." I mean get sober and discuss things like adults do. Suicide traumatizes the ones associated with it - the guilt will be unbearable. Nothing good comes out from suicide.
Arun brands Madhan as the worst guy imaginable and blames him for his relationship problems. Then he rants to Madhan while having tea, being all chummy with him. Make it make sense. Bro code uh? Or is it that he decided to end it with Divya and couldn't care less if she roams around with a junkie?
Note how Divya behaves after Arun made the decision to end it when she hugs him to patch up and compare with how Arun behaved when she wanted to end it. This is why I said that the duo aren't a good match from the outset.
Lover movie director, Prabhuram: Arun's character is toxic.
Toxic men on social media: Shut the eff up and don't simp for girls - Arun's love is true love. Arun is all of us.
Prabhuram: Ada ****mala...
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