6 Cultural Norms that NEED TO GO NOW

Puberty Ceremony

Menarche is announced openly with a grand function, but she is told to hide the rest of her periods. Menstruation is a taboo and considered “filthy” in my culture.These days, parents spend a fortune on such ceremonies – it’s a status symbol. I personally think that the money that goes into these ceremonies can be used for girls’ education.

A Woman is “Incomplete/Unsuccessful” without Marriage and Children

I was 19 when I was stricken by an illness and my relatives’ immediate concern was my marriage – not my health, not my education, not my future career. I was very offended. Women who choose not to marry/childfree women are frowned upon in Indian society. Marriages and lack of female freedom are what keep patriarchal societies intact. 

This pressure to marry and have children is to keep women enslaved, patriarchy, and the caste system thriving.

Marriage and children should be choices, not the benchmark of women’s completion and success.

The Irrational Concept of Karma

Karma: What you do, the universe throws back at you like a boomerang – across reincarnations. I think Karma is human hubris at its best – thinking that the vast universe cares about evolved monkeys living on an insignificant planet. 

Subconsciously, all of us are anti-karma. Whoever strives to be better is anti-karma. Whoever works to change the world is anti-karma. The medicine field, innovation, evolution are anti-karma. Whoever plans for the future is anti-karma. If you take care of your health, you’re anti-karma.

Karma is anti-life coz life finds a way.

I get this karma shit a lot – especially from my mom. My illness is due to my karma = my deeds in my past lives it seems. She says my grandsons are disabled coz of my dad, my stepmom, and half-sisters’ sins. I find this very idiotic. I defied my condition to be better and do things for self development and societal reforms. 

When you reason with karma, you tend to not improve yourself. You tend to think that whatever happens is due to karma and there is nothing you can do about it. 

Kanyadaan Ritual in Weddings –  Kanya = Virgin. Daan = Donation

This ritual is literally parents donating their daughter to her husband and in-laws. I mean, donating a human? Are women objects that can be donated? After this ritual, the woman is sent to her husband’s home and is expected to spend her remaining life serving her husband and in-laws. Whatever she earns also goes to them, not her birth family. They take the “donation” and exhaust her human capacity. 

Women who want to live independently with their husbands are called “Family breakers.”

Unless you can live independently with the person, not the object you married, away from your parents, don’t marry.

Housework is a Woman’s Job

In many Indian households, the men don’t even put their dirty plates in the sink. Old ladies say that a man’s testicles will fall off if he does housework. But I never saw men’s testicles fall off when they do housework when they are away from home to work/study. Indian men do housework only when they have no choice. If there’s a woman around (mom, wife, sister), they won’t. 

Women eat last and have the leftovers of men. This cultural norm is redundant because dining etiquette and after-meals cleanliness are the responsibility of adults.

The Crying Ritual when the Bride Leaves for Her Husband's Home

What? Those who consider daughters a burden and force them to marry and those who cry when the daughter leaves after the wedding are the same people? Oh, enough with the hypocritical drama already! It's high time the bride and groom marry for love, leave their respective homes and live independently!