Kadhalikka Neramillai: A Review

 I once told a friend that I wouldn't judge anyone who has casual sex. But I'd judge him hard if he didn't dispose his used condoms properly.

That unusual wisecracking encapsulates my overall opinion on Kadhalikka Neramillai's plot.

But I need to do justice to all the other aspects Kadhalikka Neramillai explored, amid the weeps of culture vulture, claiming that Indian culture is degenerating to western, morally corrupt wokeism.

So... here goes!

1. The portrayal that gay people (Sethuraman, essayed by Vinay Rai) aren't always looking for sex is trailblazing - they are capable of friendship, and other platonic relationships.

Finally, the "Avana nee" (So, you're gay?) scene has been vanquished - by a woman director. Kiruthiga vindicated the long overdue stigma on gays portrayed in Tamil movies. She's also realistic about it. Gowda (Yogi Babu) represents the struggle Indians face in accepting change. Methuva tha varuvan. (He will come around slowly.) 

2. Bad things happen in life - but you have to pick up yourself and carry on. Shriya (Nithya Menen) takes a dig at what Indian men do after love failure - drink and smoke.

Jalaja (Vinodhini Vaidyanathan's), Shriya's aunt's unthinking revelation that Shriya is doing smoking wrong shows how pressured women are to fit the "good woman" mold. I also liked the breakup song where both Shriya and Siddharth (Ravi Mohan) cope and move on. No bitterness. No ill-will.

3. Redefining the meaning of bold. "Bold" isn't actresses wearing sexy clothes and doing sex scenes - neither women exposing skin. Bold means living life on your own terms.

I never liked how Indians define boldness when it comes to women. Showing skin is considered bold - and it's exclusively for women. Boldness is defying the world and challenging entrenched societal perceptions - that is a steep road, a battle. Siddharth points this out to Shriya having a child as a single woman. I am bold because I never stagnated, using my rare genetic illness-related disability as an excuse.

4. Getting priorities right - the movie touches topics Tamil movies rarely do - environmental responsibility, sustainability, and climate change - something culture vultures never focus on despite its pervasive, negative impact on the planet.

All they see is Indian culture being spoiled. I don't understand how people hooking up and women only needing sperm cells for motherhood have more negative impact on us than climate change. 

5.  The movie introduces underexplored feminist nuances: childfree, the bride and the groom sharing wedding expenses equally, the power of financial independence, and of course, keeping girls in school. 

Kiruthiga subtly interspersed these feminist concepts into the plot of Kadhalikka Neramillai. It's not very punctuated, but it makes you stop and think.

6. Single parenting is challenging; the parent's gender and sexuality don't matter. Indian parents must accept their children and their valid life choices instead of imposing their will and wishes on them.

Siddharth's dad comes across as a charming man and single father - he has his feet firmly on the ground and is emotionally and living-wise independent. He is unlike Indian parents - he knows that children come from you, not for you - children don't owe their parents anything and parents owe their child everything. Sid says that he doesn't miss his late mother as his dad raised him perfectly.

7. Have children because you want them - not because this society said so. 

Marriage isn't necessary for children. Children are not our retirement plan. Children's mental state in so-called "normal Indian families" is failing because of the expectations and pressures piled on them. Sons are favored. Neurodivergent, LGBT, and disabled children are often abandoned. Rich parents spoil their children rotten even and use their wealth to disable powers that be when their children commit crimes. This movie challenges all of that.

8. Although Shriya doesn't pay heed to her mom and society's rules for women, she's in delulu is the solulu mode when she decides to have a child as a single woman - she knows exactly what she wants and her means.

It's very important to be rooted in reality and know your capacity before you commit to something as major as single parenthood. A child is a HUGE RESPONSIBILITY. Although it does seem that Shriya makes a hasty decision to go straight into motherhood without marriage, we learn later how she navigates her life around the decision adeptly.

9. Siddharth is a good-natured, nice guy. Recently, I encountered some incredibly judgmental, entitled, and abusive men who have no respect for consent and a woman's private space. So, Siddharth seems like a comparatively good guy (when it's actually basic decency) - including the reasons he falls for Shriya.

I've seen enough Indian men who, upon hearing about a woman with Shriya's story, would engage in locker room talk with their bros. Sid, on the other hand, genuinely admires Shriya for who she is and what she's done with her life.

10. What if I told you that this is not the first time AR Rahman made a baby sing? Listen to this song from Bombay:

Just me, fangirling the music I grew up with.

Overall, I find Kadhalikka Neramillai a movie that broke fresh ground. Nonetheless, it's very elite and upper class. And I have some aspects in the movie I didn't really feel good about. Take this statement as a precursor to the next blog!