Alimony, Patriarchy & Gender Roles: The Reality Many Ignore

🧠 Alimony, Patriarchy & Gender Roles: The Reality Many Ignore

📌 Alimony Exists Because of Patriarchy—Not Feminism

In the wake of Ridhanya's death due to dowry abuse, Indian men are bringing up alimony, faulting women for marrying up. I'd like to shatter their argument.

These Indian men wrongly believe that alimony exists to "favour women." In truth, alimony is a product of deeply-rooted patriarchy itself.

Here’s how ⬇️

• 👩 Traditional gender roles in India expect women to:

  • Sacrifice education and careers after marriage

  • Manage the household

  • Raise children—often without pay or recognition

• 👨 Meanwhile, men are seen as breadwinners:

  • Expected to work, earn, and financially support the family

  • Socially conditioned to equate manhood with wealth and power

💡 This setup creates dependence:
Many women end up financially vulnerable after marriage because society never allowed them to build careers or savings.

Thus, when a marriage fails, alimony becomes necessary—not as a "reward"—but as a safety net for the spouse left with fewer financial options.

---

⚖️ Alimony is No Easy Gain

Contrary to popular belief, alimony isn’t easy money for women.

• 💼 Alimony proceedings are often lengthy, tedious, and emotionally exhausting.

• 👩‍⚖️ The woman must prove her financial need and eligibility through evidence, documentation, and intense cross-examinations.

• 💰 The amount is entirely at the court’s discretion, based on many factors—income, lifestyle, marriage duration, and responsibilities.

• 🚫 The law does not quietly hand out money to women; it ensures there’s no scope for anyone to make a “business” out of divorce.

🤳 The Celebrity Distraction

Many Indian men see high-profile celebrity cases—like cricketer Hardik Pandya’s alimony headlines—and assume that's the common reality for all men.
This is nothing but hyperbole and false equivalence.

• ⭐ Celebrity cases involve massive wealth, different lifestyles, and unusual circumstances.

• 🔍 These are exceptions, not the rule.

• 🚫 Most Indian women fighting for alimony are far from celebrities—they’re struggling for basic survival, not luxury.

---

⚠️ Why Do Many Indian Men Resist Alimony?

Despite knowing the reality, many men resist paying alimony. Here's how and why:

🔸 1. Victim Narrative

• Many men claim, "Why should I pay her for life? I’ve suffered too!"

• They frame themselves as victims of feminism—ignoring that it's patriarchy that led to her dependence in the first place.

🔸 2. Hiding Income

• Men often hide their true earnings during court proceedings to reduce alimony amounts.

• They shift money to relatives’ accounts, underreport income, or resign from jobs temporarily to appear "broke."

🔸 3. Pressure to Avoid Payments

• Many use tactics like delayed court proceedings, emotional blackmail, or even coercion to avoid paying alimony.

• Some even remarry quickly to evade responsibilities.

🔸 4. Demonizing Women

• A common narrative: “Women are greedy; they marry just for alimony.”

• This narrative conveniently ignores how many women never get alimony at all—due to legal loopholes, stigma, or fear of long court battles.

---

🎯 The Real Irony

Most men don't object to paying dowry—even when it drains their finances—because dowry benefits other men (sons, brothers, or themselves).

But they aggressively oppose alimony because:

• It benefits a woman directly.

• It forces them to acknowledge that marriage isn't just about financial transactions—it also has legal and emotional accountability.

---

✅ Key Takeaway

Alimony isn’t a flaw of feminism. It’s a reflection of:

• Patriarchal marriage expectations

• Economic imbalance

• Unequal gender roles in Indian society

Men who try to dodge alimony aren’t fighting injustice; they’re often trying to escape accountability that arises from the very patriarchy they benefit from.

---

🧭 Conclusion:

Alimony is not about punishing men—it’s about correcting the economic damage done by a system created by men that expected women to stay dependent in the first place.

Instead of resisting alimony, the real solution lies in:

• ✅ Encouraging financial independence for women

• ✅ Building more equal marriages

• ✅ Reforming laws to ensure fairness for both genders—without diluting protection for vulnerable spouses