💰 Dowry vs. Alimony in India: Why the Comparison is Misleading—and Dangerous

In recent times, a vocal section of Indian men have started comparing alimony to dowry, calling the a “modern scam” where women take what men once did. The argument? That alimony is dowry in reverse.

A Man's Rights' Activist's Comment About Ridhanya's Dowry Death

But is this just frustration—or is it a deliberate, dangerous misdirection?

Let’s break this down.

📌 What’s the Difference Between Dowry and Alimony?

🏷️ Dowry:

• 💍 Given before or during marriage

• 🧳 Assets transferred from the bride’s family to the groom’s family

• 🚫 Illegal under the Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961

• 🧨 Rooted in patriarchy, often leading to abuse and violence against women

• 💸 Men and their families are the beneficiaries

⚖️ Alimony:

• 🔚 Given after divorce

• 👩‍⚖️ Court-ordered support to the financially weaker spouse (often the wife)

• ✅ Legal, governed by Indian personal laws and CrPC Section 125

• 💡 Protective measure—not a reward

• 👩 Usually benefits women due to gendered economic roles

🤔 So Why the Misleading Comparison? 

Still Indian men argue:

“If dowry is wrong, why is alimony okay?”

This comparison is not just flawed—it’s nefarious.

Here’s why ⬇️

1. False Equivalence

Dowry and alimony come from opposite ends of the marriage timeline and serve totally different purposes:

• 🧨 Dowry is a tool of control and social expectation.

• 🛡️ Alimony is a legal protection for the economically dependent spouse after the end of a marriage.

2. Men Benefit from Dowry Too

• 👨‍👧 Fathers and brothers suffer financially to give dowry.

• 🏠 But ultimately, dowry flows to the groom’s side—other men benefit.

• 🎯 Ironically, men see paying dowry as painful but acceptable, because it benefits other men.

3. Alimony Usually Benefits Women—So Men Get Angry

• 💰 Alimony doesn’t go to another man—it goes to a woman.

• 🙄 Suddenly, it’s a "problem". Men feel victimized.

• 🧠 The issue isn't the money—it's who receives it.

• ⚠️ This discomfort is rooted in deep-seated patriarchy.

4. Demonizing Feminism

• 🎭 Instead of acknowledging structural gender inequality, some men blame feminism.

• 🤷 They ignore that alimony exists because many women give up careers, raise families, and are left without financial security.

• 🧪 Feminism is then painted as the villain, not patriarchy.

🧠 Let’s Look at the Bigger Picture

Dowry:

• ❌ A crime.

• 🧱 A social evil that costs lives.

• 📈 Still common, despite being illegal.

Alimony:

• ✅ A right.

• 🤝 A safeguard in a system that still expects women to be unpaid caregivers.

• 🧾 Awarded after court evaluation—not a blank cheque.

🔄 The Real Problem: Misuse of Narrative

Yes, misuse of alimony laws can happen—just like misuse of dowry laws happens. But that doesn’t make the laws themselves unjust.

Instead of equating two fundamentally different systems, the focus should be on:

• ✅ Ensuring fairness

• 👩‍⚖️ Preventing misuse

• ♀️ Promoting equality through shared responsibility in marriage

🧭 Final Thought

Dowry is a tool of oppression.
Alimony is a tool of protection.

The attempt to equate the two is not only misleading—it’s a way to undermine women’s rights, dilute legitimate grievances, and distract from the patriarchal system that hurts everyone.

Let’s aim for fairness—not false narratives.