Want to Be a Better Man? Learn from Michael Jackson!

Michael Jackson respected women. He didn’t treat women as conquests.

And this is important to emphasize because Michael Jackson absolutely could have treated women like collectibles if he wanted to — especially in his 20s. Women of all races — white, Black, brown, beige — were obsessed with him. 

He was beautiful, charming, soft-spoken yet electric. Men wanted to be him. Women wanted to touch him, date him, marry him. There has honestly never been another male celebrity with that level of universal desirability and hysteria.

But Michael wasn’t chasing women like trophies.

He was looking for love. Real love. A stable relationship with a woman he could trust and feel safe with emotionally — something he sadly never fully got.

And despite the heartbreaks in his life, he didn’t become bitter. He didn’t start preaching that women are evil manipulators. He didn’t become entitled. He remained shy, awkward, romantic, and deeply respectful around women.

Compare that to the podcast bros of the 21st century.

Women are discussed like luxury items — things to acquire, flex, dominate, and replace. Their philosophy is basically: become rich so women will swarm you. Then once women do show interest in rich men, they turn around and complain that women are gold diggers.

It’s such a self-created misery.

And underneath all that fake “alpha masculinity” is often just fear — fear of emotional intimacy, fear of rejection, fear of women being actual human beings instead of rewards.

Michael Jackson had more fame, beauty, talent, and wealth than these men could dream of, yet he never spoke about women with contempt.

That says a lot.

He Was Hurt By Women but He Didn't Become Bitter

Michael was deeply hurt by Diana Ross. You can tell from his interviews, his books, the way he spoke about her. He loved her deeply.

But not once did he publicly humiliate her.

Not once did he drag her name through the mud in interviews. Not once did he weaponize private details against her. Not once did he call her out of her name.

Instead, he channeled that pain into art and created Dirty Diana — ironically one of Diana, Princess of Wales’s favorite songs.

Before performing in front of Lady Di, he removed Dirty Diana from the setlist because he thought it might disrespect her. Think about that level of consideration. This was one of the biggest songs in the world, yet he was more concerned about making a woman uncomfortable.

Then Princess Diana reportedly asked him backstage, “Are you going to sing Dirty Diana?”

And Michael nervously explained that he had removed it out of respect for her.

And she said it was her favorite song.

That interaction is so painfully sweet and human. Michael was thoughtful in ways many modern men are not even taught to be anymore.

Men these days will call a random woman a “bit*h” because she didn’t reply to a text message fast enough.

Some men train themselves to retaliate against rejection. We now live in a world where women get stalked, stabbed, beaten, or have acid thrown on them for saying “no.”

And somehow women are still told they are “too cautious” around men. Michael Jackson showed that heartbreak does not have to turn a man cruel.

He Was More Maternal Than Many Fathers Today

Michael Jackson was a single parent to his three children for much of their early lives. And yes, he had nannies — he was Michael Jackson — but he was also visibly hands-on.

There are videos online of him feeding them, cleaning them, comforting them, disciplining them gently, carrying them around exhausted. He didn’t behave like those fathers who think parenting begins and ends with paying school fees.

Honestly, he looked more like an exhausted single mother at times — constantly nervous about emotionally damaging his children the way his own father damaged him.

He openly said he would never lay a finger on his children.

And there was something very lioness-like about him as a parent. Fiercely protective, hypervigilant, tender, nurturing.

That softness in men is mocked today, which is probably why so many children grow up emotionally starved.

Compare Michael to men who scream online about wanting custody of their children, only to hand the actual labor of parenting to their mothers and sisters.

Some men cry endlessly about alimony yet never advocate with the same passion for equal child custody, equal emotional labor, or equal responsibility in raising children.

Because many still believe providing sperm and money is enough.

They don’t know their kid’s best friend. They don’t attend PTA meetings. They don’t know their child’s allergies, fears, favorite cartoon, or bedtime routine.

Michael Jackson, for all his flaws and eccentricities, understood something many men still don’t:

Children need tenderness, not just provision. He was more maternal than the fathers of today.

He Understood Honor And Privacy

One thing about Michael Jackson that genuinely stands out to me is that he understood consent and honor.

He took the identity of his youngest child’s mother to the grave simply because she did not want to be publicly known. When interviewers pushed him for answers, he simply said 👉

“I can’t say. I promised her I wouldn’t say.” And that was it.

No manipulation. No leaking details. No exposing her because the relationship ended. No using intimacy as social currency.

He honored her privacy. He kept his word to the mother of his child.

Meanwhile, some men today leak women’s intimate photos and videos to their friends for entertainment or revenge. They expose private conversations online for clout. They treat women’s bodies and vulnerabilities like public property once access has been granted.

They openly say that cheating is "masculine" and show their masculinity by flaunting the woman they're rumored they're cheating with.

That behavior reveals a terrifying lack of honor.

Because a man’s character is revealed most clearly in how he handles access to a woman’s vulnerability.

Michael understood that.

Michael, Children, And Society’s Failure Around Boundaries

Though contested, I personally believe Michael may have tried to protect children from very dark systems in Hollywood, possibly even networks connected to abuse and exploitation. But even outside of those theories, one thing is obvious:

Michael genuinely loved children.

The tragedy is that I also think Michael was emotionally stunted in certain ways because he never really had a normal childhood himself. He seemed to struggle with understanding how behavior he perceived as innocent, loving, or comforting could look inappropriate or alarming to others.

And this is exactly why sex education and conversations about boundaries matter.

Not because children are “dirty.”
Not because affection is evil.
But because people need language, education, and awareness around safety, consent, vulnerability, grooming, and appropriate boundaries.

Yet when women talk openly about bodies, sex education, menstruation, or consent, there are still men who react with outrage and disgust.

I once posted about periods and had men DM me calling me disgusting, accusing me of being some kind of “sex doctor,” and saying that teaching men about female bodies would somehow encourage rape.

Which makes absolutely no sense.

Education does not create predators.

Ignorance protects them.

Conclusion: Don’t Just Trend His Music. Learn From The Man.

People in the 21st century love making Michael Jackson trend again. Every few months there’s another viral clip of him dancing, another rediscovery of his genius, another reminder that nobody has matched his artistry.

But maybe we should also trend the man.

Not because he was perfect — he absolutely wasn’t. But because there was something profoundly humane about him that feels almost extinct now.

• His gentleness.
• His vulnerability.
• His emotional openness.
• His respect toward women even when hurt.
• His protectiveness toward children.
• His refusal to let heartbreak rot him into misogyny.

That is the part people should study.

Because the world does not need more emotionally constipated “alpha males” teaching boys that cruelty is strength.

What we need are more men willing to be soft without becoming weak. Protective without becoming controlling. Emotional without becoming abusive.

Maybe that is the real meaning behind Man in the Mirror.

Not just listening to the music.
But becoming better men/human beings after hearing it.

Healing the world that doesn’t care about us.