Girls Can't Continue A Family Legacy?

 

Telugu megastar Chiranjeevi recently said at an event that his house is like a lady's hostel and he's the hostel warden - referring to his five granddaughters. He added that he needs a grandson from his son to continue his family legacy.

He was rebuked for saying such things in public in a country where female fetuses are aborted over the preference for sons. Still, people are saying that there's nothing wrong with what he said.

"Truly, only boys carry the family legacy." There are still people with such a mindset - so, public figures should watch what they say.

Leave social responsibility - how'd his granddaughters feel when they hear his sexist remarks on them? They'd feel shortchanged, unworthy and that it doesn't matter how much they excel and achieve, they wouldn't measure up to a boy. And that will affect their confidence and overall sense of self-worth.

Their grandfather should have at least realized that before shooting off his mouth that he needs a grandson to continue the family legacy.

He needs a mother to give birth to him, a wife to give birth to his children, female co-stars to romance, but needs a grandson to continue his family's legacy - MY GOODNESS, THE HYPOCRISY OF PATRIARCHY.

Me to Chiranjeevi: Because of people like you, more people would think it's right to discriminate daughters and treat women unfairly!

I have this dread that Ram Charan had all these girls in hopes for a boy - and his father is already hinting for the next child, which he banks all his hopes on, that it'd be a boy and his son can finally stop having children.

In that case, I have to give it to Kamal Hassan and Rajinikanth for stopping begetting children after two daughters - not seeing the need for a male heir.

However, this doesn't cancel out the misogyny they spewed through their movies. I wish people exemplify how their Ulaga Nayagan and Thalaivar treat their daughters in real life rather than falling hook, line, and sinker for their sexist, moral-policing cinema plots.

That's me during my puberty ceremony. There are three girls in the green rectangle-d picture - my cousins and their brother, "the male heir."

Now, all my cousins in the picture have their own homes - they are the ones who take care of their parents. The male heir is an alcoholic, still living in a rented house. He goes to work when he feels like it only - and he's self-employed. Talk about boys continuing the family legacy, yeah?

I am not saying that men are unfit to carry the family legacy. I mean anyone can do it, not only men.

My grandmother had eight daughters - back to back. Then she had four sons back to back. It's understandable. It was the 1960s. 

These are Malaysian Indian women in the 60s. My mom and her sisters were all sent to the estate Tamil primary school. While there was sexism and bias, my grandmother insisted her daughters get at least primary education. 

There is no dowry in the Malaysian community - it died a natural death as women are valued as workers = assets, not a burden = a liability that will take wealth and herself for the benefit of her husband and family.

I am the one in the white dress. My sister is the one in blue saree.

Of course, Malaysian Indian women are still expected to move with their husbands' family and do all the housework despite contributing financially by working the same hours as their husbands. My sister's parents-in-law are deceased - yet, her husband wouldn't leave his eldest brother and his parental house.

I was only writing about the sexism in the Malaysian Indian community for the Karuththu Kannammaa page - then the page had an influx of Indian female followers. They DMed me that I was describing their situation.

Meanwhile, the Malaysian Indian community now prefers daughters. However, it's not for continuing the family's legacy - that's still reserved for sons. It's because we are more caring, loving, and supportive toward our parents and siblings than men. 

We also excel in education and hold important positions in many fields. In fact, Malaysian Indian women overtake our male counterpart in wide-ranging aspects. We're literally better at taking care of our parents, scaling up our career and financial portfolio - are sensitive, resourceful, resilient, and strong.

Meanwhile, Malaysian Indian men:

Sarakku means "figure". Vandi means "thevidiya" which basically mean a vehicle that anyone can get on and off. These are all wonderful words Malaysian Tamil men coined to describe Malaysian Indian women.

 
What I mean when I say that Indian men and Malaysian Indian men aren't much different:

After my sister got married and left my mom and me to live with her in-laws, 17 year old me needed to get independent, so I learned to ride my sister's hand-me-down bike, and got a driving license.

My mom had me because she wanted a son to take care of her. Out I popped like butter, screaming bloody murder like a girl. That girl grew up to ride her bike like a girl.

I used to take leaves from school to take my mom and dad for their hospital appointments. My frail, old dad couldn't be a pillion passenger so I rode my bike to my eldest half sister's house where he and my stepmom were staying and took him to the hospital from there.

I did all these when I was suffering from symptoms of my emerging, undiagnosed genetic illness. I also took my nieces to government programs, went to the bank and post office to pay mortgage and bills. I took care of my mom when she was sick from vertigo. I went grocery shopping and to the market every week with my mom - all while doing a very challenging pre-university course known as "Form 6" (the second most difficult exam in the world), being the English Club President and librarian.

My eldest half-sister's husband died when I was 16. I wanted her four children not to feel orphaned so I took them out to playgrounds and malls. You know, being their auntie.

I was also teaching English tuition to my neighbor's children - the income went straight to my bank account.

Six years ago - when I was undergoing a physical and mental downturn.

Then, I fell gravely ill. Today, I work full time and take care of my family. I am a girl. With the right opportunities and sense of responsibility anyone can do what I did and still doing. Your genitalia's shape doesn't determine who you are and what you can do.

Keiser Flescher rings - an indication of Wilson's Disease, a rare genetic disorder that affects copper metabolism. This is what I have.

So, I disagree with the Malaysian Indian community's preference for daughters as well - teach sons to be caring and loving just like you teach daughters. Also, stop normalizing women and girls overworking.

Chiranjeevi garu, you have five grandchildren. With the right opportunities and exposure, they can be a formidable force of nature that carry your family legacy. You don't need a grandson for that.