The Troubles Mature Bodied Teenage Girls Face

Everything female, every act of a female, every female relation has been sexualized. But there's one sexualization that doesn't get enough spotlight; the growing bodies of pubescent and teenage girls.

Andha vedhana irke, andha vedhana! (The torture... that torture!)

Oh, the shame and confusion, unspeakable. The damage, irreversible! I've experienced it first-hand. 

That was me during menarche when I was 11 years old. As you can see, my body was mature for my age - because of that, I was mercilessly sexualized ever since I started growing breasts. A molester squeezed my sprouting breasts when I was 10. I had gone into the school toilet alone to change into sports attire. A heavily bearded stranger who hung about tailed me into the bathroom... that's another story for another day.

It didn't help that I was a leggy lass.

My mom and me - I was 11.

Everywhere I went - to school, to the library, even at home, I was troubled by men and boys alike. Truly, I don't know how I managed to pass my exams with good scores, going against the traumatic odds - all because my physique was ample and womanly.

I am not alone. This is something a lot of girls go through. Remember, when we say "yes, all men," it's not to say men are bad - it's based on our traumas. You can be the nicest guy in the world, yet, because of our bad experiences, we'd still eye you with suspicion.

My vibe mode during adolescence - it didn't change much now tho.

My school bus driver called me "fresh thakkali (tomato)." I was 12 and I didn't have the tongue then to say, "Poya peruchali (Get lost, you bandicoot). 😭

The school bus driver's responsibility was to keep me safe. Yet, he passed such a comment. Not cool. I was a child. Just because I started wearing the bra, it doesn't mean I am an adult who can consent.

Lorry drivers and men in cars asked me to get into their vehicle to satisfy their lust - even offering money for the "service." I was 13, 14, 15, 16... 💩

Ok, I didn't dress up, put on tons of makeup and wait outside at night for this solicitation to happen. It happened during early mornings and afternoons. I was wearing school uniform, track suits, and Girl Scout uniform - it goes without saying that I was a minor.

Lorry drivers would honk at us. When we look up to them, they'd do the tongue thing and lewd gestures with their hands, even gesticulating at us to hop on. This usually happened when I was with other girl students, waiting for the town bus to go for extra-curricular activities at school on Saturday mornings.

One lorry driver literally threatened to SA me because I didn't respond to his solicitation. Men in cars tailed me as I walked home, in school uniform, asking me to sleep with them.

They were fully aware that I was a child. Yet, they only cared about my body's maturity.

My face had a childlike innocence. Yet, my innocence was taken away from me by adult men who were supposed to be "protectors.

Even when I styled my hair in a boy cut and invariably wore baggy tees and straight-cut jeans besides school uniform, I still got unwanted attention.

Again, it didn't matter what I wore, how I wore my hair, or if my face was that of a child - the attention was on my body. 

A lot of school students in my city go to the public library to study - I was one of them because the textbooks in the library were really good. Sexualization followed me there too.

If teen boys were a nuisance in the public library, grown men were a threat. One time, I didn't take my eyes off of a book I was reading in the library as a man put forth his romantic advances. Because I didn't respond, he put his middle finger on the book I was trying to read, saying, "This is my d*ck, b*tch. Read this too."

I'd forgive boys my age for sexualizing me and my girlies back then. I excuse them now when they said my physique was "sexy" because I've had s*x. They didn't know better - they were my age. 

They simply reiterated that hand-me-down myth in school. In fact, I retorted at them sometimes when they really got on my nerves.

However, there's no redemption for grown men for sexualizing female children. 

These men target teenage girls because it's a confusing age. We know that we're being abused but we are unsure - so we can't speak up and retaliate - this is what these men capitalize on. With men like Andrew Tate, grown men are increasingly targeting young girls - it's a dangerous trend.