To Marry a Rich Man or be Financially Independent, then Find Love?

To Marry a Rich Man or be Financially Independent, then Find Love?

Ridhanya's arranged marriage to a rich man and subsequent death due to dowry harassment has sparked a debate:

Marrying a rich man is a FEMINIST CHOICE. Being financially independent and then finding love is a FEMINIST CHOICE.

All I can see here is PATRIARCHY REPACKAGED as CHOICE FEMINISM.

Nevertheless, choice feminism stands.

I chose financial independence and eventual love. If love dries up, I rather continue working my job than pursue a contentious alimony legal battle. I will lose it anyway as I have been earning for years and I am proud of it - I would never hide it to win alimony. 

Only my own finances will help me in any situation - sickness, domestic abuse, family needs, niceties, healthy food, supplements, accessible home, and old age care - not a rich husband, not children.

Like I won't depend and burden my brother as an adult woman, I won't do the same to another man.

I could've run to find a rich man to marry instead of running to find a job.

In fact, I had a rich man pursuing me when I was 19 through my family. Illness and disability struck me and he vamoosed. It was quietly agreed that him dropping the plan to marry me was right - he married another healthy, able-bodied woman.

That man didn't even know who I was. 

It's just that I was a "striking beauty" and he wanted me. I was there at his sister's engagement to my cousin and wedding purchases and he decided I was marriage material.

Meanwhile, I moved on - doing physiotherapy, relearning how to chew, swallow, and write by hand. When my health got better, I landed a job with a for-profit social enterprise, Genashtim.

This experience gave me insights into what is reliable and the best bet for me as a woman. Sure, marrying a rich man has its perks - you will have house help, needn't work and earn, enjoy life with a carefree outlook - never worrying about money. But what if you got sick like me? What if his love died? Your good life is only until his love doesn't run out. 

Rich men don't marry "ugly women." The man brings the money. The woman brings her beauty.

So, we must understand the risks and business-like underpinnings behind marrying a rich man.

Psst: You will also be called a "gold digger."

I am so glad I escaped marriage with that rich man 

Yes. Choices. Alternatives. Feminism. Our grandmas didn't have many choices - we do. But choices have consequences and conscience should be intact in every choice we make. 

Conclusion: Use your brain to think about all the possibilities behind the choices you have and choose wisely. 

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