Sharing Information about My Disability isn't Seeking Pity

 


Sharing Information about My Disability Isn't Seeking Pity

I'm seeing a lot of people accusing me of "pity-farming" using my disability on social media. I knew this would happen. That's why I hid myself (and my jarring disability) for 10 years since I started the Karuththu Kannammaa page - only my schoolmate, who was the co-founder of the page and KK admins from India knew.

I only came out with my disability in 2025 - 10 years after I started KK in 2015. 10 freaking years coz I knew that people, especially men, will use my disability to cloud my credibility. 

I went from: 

  • "Oh, she's a woman. She's using woman card and victim card."
  • To: "Oh, she's disabled. She's seeking pity and sympathy."
  • And since I am in my 40s, that too is used against me.

Everything and anything that I'm powerless to change is used to discredit me. These people never actually debate me on what I said.

You know what? My whole life, even when I was walking, I've been underestimated - my classmates, teachers, even my family members - even when I proved them wrong, they never stopped doubting me.

When I scored well in my exams, it was a shocker. When I  became a prefect, then the English Club president, then a school debater, then the school magazine editor - people couldn't believe it. I have always been competitive - even now I am but I wasn't sure why people don't see it. I understand now that you people don't see it coz y'all don't support it. 

Listen, if I am seeking sympathy, my boss would fire me. I work at a company that provides employment opportunities for disadvantaged individuals including people with disabilities (PWDs) - and clients aren't informed that the people serving them are disabled. Why? Because equal standards - no excuses for not delivering quality service and definitely no pity-farming.

My Malaysian colleagues

I mentioned being underestimated besides being accused of seeking pity - the one place that expects more from me is my workplace and I love it. My boss, Thomas Ng is truly one of a kind and the entire management sets the bar high. That said, it doesn't mean I don't need help - who doesn't?

My boss Thomas Ng and me

I don't expect any of you to accept what I say - I only expect you all to treat me as an equal - telling you that I'm a wheelchair user isn't asking you to pity me. I already have a good life - I work. I laugh. I enjoy. And I don't want to inspire you either. What I do is very normal and I require different facilities - that's all. 

But it's an uphill battle to educate people who are set in their ways - just like how women aren't treated equally, disabled people suffer the same. And since I am a woman and disabled, men call me a disabled b*tch and wh0re - all in fake ids. What a pathetic way to feel manly.

So, why did I reveal myself and my highly-visible disability? Coz telling women to be bold then hiding myself didn't sit well with me. I also didn't like hiding like I committed a crime when all I do is write stuff that makes people uncomfortable. Additionally, people like hearing stories and my story is pretty interesting - so why not?

I didn't show myself on my wheelchair and tell my story to get your pity or to be your inspiration porn. I show myself and tell my story because I am deeply human and as human as any one of you.



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