Before Suriya and Jyothika, There Were Mahathir and Hasmah

For Malaysian Indians, Suriya and Jyothika are the juniors in couple goals - Tun Dr Mahathir and Tun Dr Hasmah are the seniors.

Dr Hasmah passed away on 28 September 2026, at 100 years old. She had been the love of Mahathir's life for 70 years. Naturally, Mahathir is beyond devastated. The 101 year old lovelorn man has been admitted to the National Heart Institute Malaysia for observation. 

According to his son, their home reminds his dad of his mom too much and is taking a toll on him, hence this move.

They say a man who lost his companion becomes an empty shell of himself and would soon follow suit - I didn't expect that I'd cry for a man I hated for implementing racist policies.

I may disagree strongly with Tun Dr Mahathir’s political ideologies, but I think the way he loved and partnered with Tun Dr Hasmah is unmatched.

Their story began in 1947, when they were medical students at the King Edward VII College of Medicine in Singapore. Mahathir helped Hasmah with her studies, and a friendship slowly grew into something deeper. On April 23, 1949, he finally told her three simple words: “I love you.” Seven years later, they married.

What followed was more than seven decades of marriage, family and public life.

Hasmah was never merely the woman standing beside a powerful man. She was a doctor in her own right and a pioneer in Malaysia’s public-health system. She became the first woman appointed as a medical officer in the Maternal and Child Health Department and later the first woman to serve as Kedah’s State Maternal and Child Health Officer.

Together, they raised a large family. They had four biological children and adopted three more.

And then there were the little things that made their relationship feel remarkably human.

They held hands. They teased each other. They went on dates even in old age. In 2019, Mahathir posted a photograph of himself taking Hasmah out in Kuala Lumpur, jokingly calling it a date. Their affection remained visible even after decades together.

One quality I particularly admire, despite my disagreements with Mahathir as a politician, is the apparent absence of the insecurity that can accompany many men. When Hasmah held the hand of Pakistan’s then-prime minister Imran Khan, Mahathir did not turn it into a display of possessiveness or jealousy.

Instead, he grinned toothily.

There is, however, one part of their relationship that complicates the picture for me.

Hasmah once recalled that after returning from Mecca, she wanted to wear the tudung/hijab. Mahathir objected and did not want her to wear it.

From a feminist perspective, I believe a woman should ultimately be free to decide what she wears, whether that means a hijab, a miniskirt or anything in between. Her body and her clothing should be her choice.

At the same time, I can understand where Mahathir was coming from. His views on Islamic dress have long been more complex than simply equating outward religious symbols with piety.

He has previously argued that Muslims should focus on the deeper moral principles of Islam rather than treating particular forms of dress as the measure of religious devotion.

I was a teenager during Mahathir's prime minister tenure in the 90s. Upon returning home from school, I'd tune into MTV on national TV and Destiny's Child's Beyonce would shake her booty, while Lee Ann Rimes do a bar top performance for Coyote Ugly.

Mahathir's idea of Islam wasn't superficial and super-focused on women's bodies.

Mahathir may not have gained respect for his apartheid politics, Internal Security Act, the injustice to Anwar Ibrahim and to non-Bumiputeras - but he gained respect over how he treated women.

He's a Muslim. He's allowed to marry up to four women - he was handsome and had all the resources too. Even I had a crush on him. But Hasmah was his be all and end all.  

What strikes me is that Hasmah remained a doctor, a public figure and a person with an identity of her own. She was not simply reduced to being the Prime Minister's wife.

And despite the enormous power Mahathir held in public life, their relationship appears to have retained a sense of companionship that lasted for decades.

For me, that is where the idea of “couple goals” becomes more interesting. It doesn't mean believing a couple is perfect or agreeing with everything either person does.

It means recognising the qualities in their relationship that are worth aspiring to while still being able to question the things we disagree with.

Their marriage also illustrates something important about companionship: a wife can be her own person. Hasmah built her own medical career, interests and public identity.

Mahathir did not reduce her to being merely his wife.

You do not have to agree with Mahathir’s politics to recognize that his marriage to Hasmah was extraordinary.

That is what couple goals can look like: not perfection, but growing old with someone who remains your partner, your friend and the person you still want to take out on a date.