My Abortion Story

This is not the story of the abortion I had - this is a story about women thinking ahead about a child's future and quality of life.

I was conceived when my mom was 30, and my dad, 50. Immediately, my mom didn't want this pregnancy because:

• My dad will retire in 7 years.
• My mom doesn't have a job with consistent salary.

Her concerns:

• Who will educate this ball of cells if it's born?
• We don't even have our own house.
• There are already 6 children in the house who'll need higher education and funds for marriage.
• The household is already hostile - and this unborn's stepmother hates them already.

Mulling over all these, my mom decided to have an abortion - and she asked my dad, who was a physician's assistant. And like all these dumb pro-lifers, he wouldn't hear any of it. He didn't care that he didn't have the resources to raise another child. He didn't care that his advanced age would impact his sperm quality - hence me.

My mom tried to induce miscarriage through home remedies but they were unsuccessful. My dad's male ego didn't provide me with a secure future - and when my mom tried to do it herself, he didn't let her. I had started kindergarten and my dad would retire in a year - so, my mom started asking around if she could work at nearby palm oil processing plants.

My dad got wind of my mom trying to find a job and he went around telling the employers to not employ my mom. Why? Because it will make him feel less like a man - never mind that I would start school next year as he retires and there's no resources for my education.

Then push came to shove - the house's situation was dire - fights over money erupted. When my mom said that she's going to the city to work and raise me, she got sl*t-shamed and beaten by my dad. 

She anyway defied it all, came to the city, worked as a cleaner, bought a house, funded my sister's wedding, and raised me up to I was 19 - in the same year, my dad passed on - I got seriously ill with a rare genetic disease and the late diagnosis left me with disabilities.

Well, I work now despite disability and not going to graduate school. But I can't help thinking how my mom and I would have saved so much trouble and heartache if I was aborted.

You talk about how it's cruel - but you don't see things from women's POV - they think ahead: "What kind of life will I and the father would be able to provide if this clump of cells make it through the birth canal in one piece?" We care more than you think - and your job ends the moment the kid comes out - the mother's job is only beginning and will last for at least 25 years. 

My mom didn't want me but she was the one who:

• Raised me.
• Educated me.
• Taking care of me till now because I lost the ability to walk when I was 20.

My dad wanted me but he:

• Never changed my diapers.
• Never ensured that I ate.
• Didn't pay a dime for the education I've had.
• Died peacefully while I struggle with inherited disease and disabilities.

So, before you speak about cruelty that is abortion, how feminism is cancer, how women are irresponsible, and how the fetus will feel pain as its cut to pieces - I want you to remember my life story.

My mom told me this during a time when I was in so much pain - and my friends were in university and I was in the hospital. I asked her: "Why didn't you just abort me?" So, don't you dare tell me that abortion is cruelty - it's women's rights and healthcare. Just because you think all life is precious, it doesn't mean you get to impose that belief on women - especially on women like my mom and you having the mindset of my dad.